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A Farewell To Farms (episode)

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Dr. Migleemo cooks up some hot dishes while Mariner prefers hers served cold.

Summary[]

Teaser[]

On Qo'noS, Ma'ah is working on his family farm, failing to catch one of their targs. His brother, Malor, taunts Ma'ah for being outwitted by the targ and perhaps he should go back to being a captain. Ma'ah vows he'll return to his captaincy soon enough, then questions what he's doing to their transport. Malor claims he's decorating it with the bones of a brush devil he felled. Ma'ah points out that he ran it over by accident, which Malor claims is still honorable. However, Ma'ah's communicator goes off, the Starfleet delta on its screen. He brushes it off as a Ferengi scammer. Their mother calls out that they had bloodwine to deliver, but Malor makes it clear he's not helping. Ma'ah is seen later on gathering serpent worms into a bucket, placing them in a large vat and squishing them, turning them into bloodwine. His communicator goes off again and, in frustration, he chucks it away into the field.

Act One[]

As Ma'ah loads the family's delivery transport truck with barrels of bloodwine while Malor does nothing, they are caught off-guard as Beckett Mariner connects to the nearby communication console. While she is distracted by Malor's presence, Ma'ah 'hangs up' on her by throwing a d'k tahg at the view screen, confusing Malor. Arriving at the Warrior Pit in the First City, Ma'ah reminisces before Malor taunts him again, calling him a petaQ. Malor's decorative bones collide with the bar's own decorative horns, causing the transport to crash, and Ma'ah reluctantly gets ready to deliver the bloodline after the embarrassing landing. Inside, the bartender grumbles that they're late – all they had to serve was bahgol and the patrons aren't drunk enough to fight. Suddenly, Ma'ah is confronted by K'Elarra, surprised to see her in such a place. She states that the live band's thrash lute player wants her to watch him play and Ma'ah fears that she's in par'Mach with him. She laughs and declares that she's more attracted to captains. However, Malor's comments reveal that he was stripped of his captaincy for allowing his crew to mutiny; Malor adds that their whole family was shamed, which he believes to be hilarious. K'Elarra doesn't seem to mind – she's sure he captained with honor, which he used to scream about in the past, and he can get that captaincy back certainly. Malor mocks that saying he killed Bargh's brother so he doubts those chances. Ma'ah explains that Dorg betrayed the Klingon Empire, and so doesn't regret what he had to do. K'Elarra assures him that a Klingon isn't defined by rank. However, any chances at winning her over are lost instantly when Mariner and an awestruck Brad Boimler enter the bar and greet him. K'Elarra is disgusted with him for fraternizing with Starfleet and leaves, Mariner seemingly unaware of what she did as Ma'ah screams in frustration.

Onboard the USS Cerritos over Praxon IV, Doctor Gabers Migleemo is very nervous, molting in front of D'Vana Tendi and Sam Rutherford, something Tendi's never seen before from him even when she had him face B'eth in combat on Orion. He's getting ready to meet two great Klowahkan scholars. Rutherford is confused as he thought they were food critics. They are; Migleemo explains that Klowahkans invented warp travel so they can search out brand new foods. The scholars, Legnog and Gonald, are among his people's greatest. He quickly unfluffs himself and asks how he looks, prompting Rutherford to respond "downy".

At the Warrior Pit, Boimler is excited as this was the place where Martok slew twelve 'urwl'pu', but Ma'ah corrects him as that had happened in the Ketha lowlands; the bar is a franchise chain. As Boimler goes to check out a diktagh stuck in a Andorian-shaped target, Mariner apologizes – Boimler's on a Klingon kick. Ma'ah demands to know why she's there and Mariner explains that she officially came to drop off some ancient Klingon warrior's skull that Starfleet recovered and she decided to find him and help get back his captaincy. She is impressed with his family's bloodwine after sampling it, to which Malor states that their family has been 'perfecting the bloodiness' for generations, but Ma'ah isn't interested in her help. Throwing herself in front of him and Malor as they start to leave, Mariner points out how he helped her on Sherbal V and tries to force him to accept via "the Edict of Unreturned Favors" and claims that otherwise, Humans are fed to a bear, though Ma'ah is somewhat skeptical that she's telling the truth. Mariner is confused over Boimler's sudden enjoyment of violence after he was bodily thrown into a wall, remembering how he feared skiing, but he states that he came out stronger for the experience and believes it's because of his beard. Ma'ah explains that the Klingon Oversight Council refuses to hear his request and that it's pointless to do anything. Boimler suggests they invoke the Ritual of J'ethurgh; Ma'ah snarls at Boimler to not tell him about his people's rituals and that he "lives by the ancient ways", but Malor 'translates' Ma'ah's bluster as being that he doesn't actually know what that one is. Boimler explains that it allows a discharged captain to reclaim their command, and hasn't been invoked in over 300 years. Mariner convinces Ma'ah to take them up on this and she'll leave him alone in exchange. As they prepare to leave, Boimler is smashed in the back by a chair thrown across the bar.

On the Cerritos, Captain Carol Freeman is joined by Migleemo, Tendi, and Rutherford as Legnog, Gonald, and their bodyguards transport in. Freeman welcomes them, but their mockery of the ship and Praxon IV's food prompts Freeman to have Migleemo take over before she says something undiplomatic. However, they are quite displeased upon seeing Migleemo, disgusted to find a Klowahkan in Starfleet. Rutherford and Tendi are quite concerned over Migleemo's attitude.

Outside the Oversight Council Chambers, two Klingon bikers nearly run into each other while, inside, Mariner and Boimler are surprised to see, as part of the Oversight Council, K'orin. While Ma'ah is surprised that the general is personally acquainted with the Humans, K'orin is equally happy to meet them again as well, explaining that he threw his back out killing a Romulan spy, so he became part of the Council. Bargh snaps at K'orin to get back to his seat, K'orin clearly annoyed at the Klingon's tone. Bargh quickly rejects Ma'ah's request, boasting that as long as he's leader, his brother's killer will never set foot on a ship again. However, Boimler steps in and reveals that Ma'ah has initiated the Ritual of J'ethurgh, which Enaj confirms to be an actual thing and consists of tests of endurance, strength, and sacrifice. Looking over the documentation, however, Bargh quickly notes that the ritual states he needs a quv beq of at least four companions, forcing Mariner to haul in Malor, who doesn't want to participate. Bargh decides to play along and announces the Test of Unending Pain, Boimler declaring that this was going to be "Klingon as hell!".

Act Two[]

In the Cerritos's mess hall, Gonald complains about the lighting on board, which Freeman claims is perfectly attuned on all Starfleet ships for the comfort of all living beings, causing Legnog to snark that they'd died and gone to "fluorescent hell". Migleemo, Rutherford, and Tendi arrive with two plates with au jus Mordanian beef loin and macaroni and cheese with breaded top. However, they spit out the food, claiming it to be bland and tasteless and are further angered when Migleemo reveals that he replicated it. Despite trying to defend himself as a psychologist and not being a chef, Legnog lightly slaps him, prompting Freeman to scold Legnog. However, a dejected Migleemo tells her he deserved it. As they leave, Migleemo laments that they'll write him into the Book of the Flavorless, Tendi trying to cheer him up. Rutherford suggests cooking a real meal, which Migleemo decides is perfect, prompting the others to follow him to his quarters.

In the Oversight Council Chambers, Bargh describes the Rite of Unending Pain – it represents Kahless the Unforgettable's passage through the field of thorns, Boimler finishing up that he used those thorns to kill Fek'lhr. This rite requires them to go through a gauntlet of painstiks, Bargh ordering their voltage be doubled with each third section. Malor attempts to leave, but Mariner convinces him to stay for a thousand darseks. The four make their way through the path, being electrocuted the entire way. Reaching the final part, Bargh demands the painstiks be set to maximum voltage. However, Boimler recalls that the maximum voltage from one painstik is 30,000 volts – he confirms with Mariner that there's no way they can survive that. Boimler convinces everyone to cling to Malor so they can evenly share the combined charge of 60,000 volts and dull it to a more manageable 15,000 volts for each of them, though Ma'ah is reluctant. To K'orin's satisfaction at Bargh's unfair tactics being stymied, the four make it through, pained and exhausted but alive. Mariner tells Boimler he's a genius, oddly, however, Ma'ah is not as pleased as he should be.

On the Cerritos, Tendi and Rutherford help Migleemo in preparing their new dish, Tendi's assassin training knifework and Rutherford's implant helping out on making it just right. As Freeman pulls out a hogfish galantine from the oven, she's unsure of it, but Migleemo is certain the fish is cooked to perfection, or 'plorpful' as they'd say on Enara Prime. After setting up a candlelit table in the quarters and inviting Legnog and Gonald, the two are in awe of the sight of the complex dish though Migleemo gives credit to his shipmates' help. However, they once again accuse the meal of being bland and demand Migleemo to be arrested. Dejected, he rejects Freeman trying to save him but panics when Gonald declares that they will banish his entire family from the Great Seating Chart.

In the Oversight Council Chambers, the next challenge begins as a massive targ charges out with some ropes looped on it, an electric fence surrounding them. Boimler throws himself on the targ, only for the beast to rampage around, Boimler briefly dragged behind it before being tossed aside. Mariner groans that Bargh is a real jerk before they focus on how to catch the targ. With his experience handling targs, Malor tells them they each need to grab a leg, though Ma'ah thinks it's a stupid idea. Ma'ah is kicked into the fence and electrocuted while Malor, Boimler, and Mariner subdue and hogtie the targ. When the dismayed Bargh demands that they also trim the targ's nails and express its anal glands to make things more difficult, Mariner realizes the targ is his, and that he's being lazy and should get a targ groomer. Bargh claims that he can do whatever he wants because his brother was killed by a "weakling", but Mariner snarks back that his brother must have been pathetic. Enaj, tired of it, suggests they should mark the challenge as complete. Bargh decides to get to the next challenge, which requires someone to be sacrificed to demonstrate their allegiance to the Empire. Ma'ah choses himself, much to Bargh's joy.

Act Three[]

As Ma'ah prepares to be killed, Mariner tries to convince him to not do this, but Ma'ah seems resolute in his decision. K'orin, however, decides that perhaps they should be given time to discuss it, suggesting to Bargh it would make them squirm a little more. Bargh agrees and leaves for the time being. Annoyed, Mariner and Malor demand to know what's wrong with Ma'ah. As it turns out, Ma'ah just doesn't have his heart in the challenge; despite being a captain, his ship was part of Bargh's fleet and his fleet was not honorable. Fighting alongside the other three, who have strength and honor, has only reminded him how much he hated serving on the Che'Ta'. He would rather languish on Qo'nos than be a captain in Bargh's fleet. Boimler, disgusted, tells him to stop being a qoH and that there are other paths. He tells him of how he was transferred to one of the coolest ships in the fleet but transferred back to the Cerritos (unwillingly, though he leaves that out), which he considered the best move. Ma'ah can still be a captain, but not in Bargh's fleet. Ma'ah points out that Klingons can't just transfer from a fleet, which Enaj agrees with – he needs a two-thirds majority by the Oversight Council to do so, which she and K'orin are willing to act on. Malor points out they still need to figure out who dies. Boimler happily chooses himself, but Mariner slaps him and tells Ma'ah she has a plan.

The Cerritos has arrived at Klowahka as Gonald reveals that Migleemo is going to hate flavor prison – it's the only place where they don't serve butter. However, Tendi realizes something – all of their recent reviews claim all meals were completely bland. Migleemo is confused at one entry for Chez DeSalle, as they spent a hundred years perfecting their pod plant purée. Legnog wants Migleemo to hurry up as they don't want to miss the amuse-bouche, a greeting dish that everyone gets upon arriving on the planet, something Migleemo laments might be his last decent meal.

In Bargh's room, Bargh is woken from his drunken slumber as Ma'ah and the others barge in, Ma'ah invoking the Rite of Forced Conscription, K'orin stating that it's been witnessed and recognized, and thus he must battle. Bargh protests, calling it chatlh and refuses. Grabbing a bat'leth from the wall, Ma'ah declares that if he won't fight he must now prepare for Sto-vo-kor. Ma'ah throws Bargh out of the room and they battle; ultimately, the polearm Bargh grabbed from a suit of armor is snapped in two and he's defeated, but he is still confused over everything and says they still need to kill someone. Boimler points out that Ma'ah's invoking of the rite means Bargh's now part of their crew and they're choosing him. Bargh panics and Ma'ah tells him that he chooses him to die... unless he'd rather just grant his captaincy back. Enaj and K'orin are not on Bargh's side at all. As Ma'ah rejoins the others, Bargh grabs the top half of the polearm he was using and runs Ma'ah through from behind. However, Ma'ah is able to recover, and to Bargh's shock, painfully pulls the polearm out and declares Bargh a coward. He grabs him by the throat and runs him through with the polearm head himself, ending his threat. Malor is in awe over his brother's victory and he goes to help him out.

Back at their transport after Ma'ah has been bandaged, Mariner and K'orin reveals the truth of her real mission – Mariner and Boimler were in Klingon space to scan a quantum fissure as well, but Bargh hated the Federation and refused them access. She needed a captain to help them out with getting to the fissure and knew of Ma'ah; she just didn't expect Bargh to have to die. With Ma'ah a captain, they can get to the fissure, but since Malor points out he isn't going back to the Che'Ta', what ship does he have; Ma'ah has an idea.

On Klowahka, a group of Klowahkan greeters meet up with everyone, offering them a raw Klowahkan oyster with grubfruit mignonette. Legnog and Gonald are handed a plate by Freeman and happily gobble down their meal, exclaiming their people's food is as excellent as always. However, Migleemo sniffs it and recoils in disgust – it smells like shit. As it turns out, Rutherford, Tendi, and Freeman swapped out the oyster with replicated feces. The greeters demand to know why Legnog and Gonald reacted in pleasure. The greeters confirm the swap for themselves and the two are forced into admitting the truth – they lost their sense of taste. When Tendi asks why they lied, Migleemo explains they were terrified of being found out – a Klowahkan without taste is no Klowahkan at all. He diagnoses them with conversion disorder, that the pressure of critiquing has caused them to lose their sense of taste, the source of their stress. The two are confused, leading to Migleemo to declare they need therapy, that he is a chef of the mind. The two are honored to be in his presence and ask for his help. He's delighted to do so, if they provide him with high-end catering, which they are happy to do. Tendi wonders if that's ethical, but Freeman says that the critics were punks and Migleemo deserves his win.

At Ma'ah's family farm, as Malor relaxes with Bargh's old targ, Ma'ah, Boimler and Mariner return from their exploration in the family's truck. As it turns out, the fissures seem to be man-made and not natural. With their mission complete, Malor asks what's next for his brother. Ma'ah decides he's going to captain their truck, to which Malor protests. Ma'ah points out that Martok started his career in one and he wants to follow in his footsteps. Malor, dejected, decides to stay on the farm, but Ma'ah decides he needs a first officer and chooses him for that role. He excitedly accepts and goes to reapply the bones they lost earlier with Ma'ah's blessing. Ma'ah admits that Boimler and Mariner have proven their toDuj and are worthy of being cha'Dlch, which Boimler is excited about. As the two Starfleet officers leave in their shuttlecraft, Ma'ah goes to pull Malor out of the bones after he fell on one of them.

Memorable quotes[]

"I'm meeting two of my species' greatest scholars."
"Scholars? I thought they were food critics."
"Precisely. We Klowahkans invented warp travel in the hopes of discovering strange new meals. Sir Legnog and Madame Gonald's reviews are akin to scripture. Their work goes beyond umami."

- Migleemo and Rutherford


"What if you request the Ritual of J'ethurgh?"
"Do not talk to me of Klingon rituals, boy. I live by the ancient ways."
"Yeah, that means he doesn't know what you're talking about."
"It's a ritual that allows a discharged captain to reclaim their command. It was last triggered over three hundred years ago by Captain Jokor when he was involuntarily added to another crew via the Rite of Forced Conscription. [CHUCKLES] You guys have a lot of rituals."

- Boimler, Ma'ah, and Malor


""This was clearly his Targ! Hire a targ groomer dude, you're just *bleep* with us!
""I'm allowed to *bleep*with you! This weakling killed my brother!
""Oh, a weakling killed your brother? I guess your brother must have sucked!

- Mariner and Bargh

""What crawled up her boob-window and died?"

- Mariner

Background Information[]

Title[]

Continuity[]

Cast and characters[]

  • While Jack Ransom, Shaxs, and T'Ana do not appear in this episode, their voice actors are present in other roles.
  • This is the first episode of Season 5 in which T'Lyn does not appear.

Links and references[]

Starring[]

Guest cast[]

Background characters[]

Klowahka
Qo'noS

References[]

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Meta references[]

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