(written from a Production point of view)
Mariner tries to impress her best friend from Starfleet Academy who is now a visiting captain. Boimler is sent to a Starfleet medical ship after a transporter accident puts him “out of phase.”
- 1 Summary
- 2 Log entries
- 3 Memorable quotes
- 4 Background information
- 5 Links and references
Ensigns Brad Boimler, Beckett Mariner, and Sam Rutherford are getting to bed without bothering to change out of their equally worn out uniforms after a tiring shift of sprinting around to repair the station grid. Just after they lay down in their bunks, Ensign D'Vana Tendi excitedly runs into the crew quarters with a dog, disrupting everyone's sleep. As side projects are encouraged in Medical, Tendi excitedly says that she made her out of a bunch of inert carbon, hand-edited all six billion genetic sequences, and modeled her after an Earth dog. On Boimler asking when she even found the time, Tendi states that sometimes she lies about going to the bathroom and was actually recoding the dog's DNA, which she finds to be fun. Tendi talks about how the dog's protein bonds accepted a CAS9 snipping without any cellular degradation. Tendi then walks off to go grab her notes on her project, wanting to read them to everyone. Rutherford suggests that Tendi is messing with them and the dog is perfectly normal, but as soon as he says this, the dog begins to shapeshift by reversing her limbs and neck in the opposite direction and still barking happily, scales onto the walls and ceiling, much to Boimler and Rutherford's discomfort. Mariner simply rolls over and tells them to wake her if it turns into something she needs to care about.
- "First officer's log: An elite team from the Cerritos has been selected by Admiral Syltrack to liaise with the Pisepian agricultural colony in disputed territory. Captain Freeman, Shaxs, and myself have been enlisted to join the mission due to our expertise in the germination of rulot seeds. In our absence, the Cerritos will receive a temporary transfer of command to a visiting captain."
Mariner is not thrilled to hear about the visiting captain that will receive temporary command, saying that temporary captains never really know what they're doing when running the ship, and she says that she's not thrilled about this turn of events when they're already going to a bog planet, which she finds to be one of the worst planets. Boimler seems unconcerned with her complaints and says that bogs are actually fascinating places. As they talk, Tendi's dog walks by, shapeshifting into a metal cube, and rolling away. Boimler ignores the dog and says that he's looking forward to working with the visiting crew, but Mariner just guesses he's excited for a new captain to kiss up to.
In the repair bay, Rutherford is working on a transporter experiment using two one-person transporter platform units, with the hope of making the process go slightly faster. Boimler walks in and asks if his hair looks good for a possible promotion, but gets interested in Rutherford's experiment. Rutherford seems frustrated that Mariner turned down the opportunity to help him test the transporter, wanting him to iron out the kinks first, and Rutherford says that without any tests, he won't know what kinks to iron out. Boimler volunteers as he can then tell the visiting captain that he enjoys improving efficiency in his spare time, and Rutherford successfully transports him to the other transporter pad. To his excitement, the process was indeed about a half second faster. However, upon beaming him back, Boimler appears transparent, glowing, and emitting the loud sound of the beaming process itself. Rutherford is disappointed as he believed he worked out that side effect, as the last part of the process can be "a bit sticky." Boimler is worried he might die, but Rutherford assures him that he is merely about one millicochrane out of phase and the result is only cosmetic. Having to talk loudly above the noise, Boimler begs Rutherford to fix him before the visiting crew arrives.
On the bridge, the visiting captain arrives, and Mariner is unenthusiastic, until she sees the captain is her friend from Starfleet Academy, Amina Ramsey. The two embrace each other happily. Mariner tells her that she thought she was still on the USS Oakland, and was not aware that she was promoted to captain. Ramsey introduces Mariner to her senior staff, Ottessa Warren, Drew Prachett, a Rigelian, and Durga, a Vulcan, and says that when it comes to boots-on-the-ground planetary action, Mariner is one of the best officers to be with. Durga can't help but wonder why Mariner is still an ensign with such a reputation. At that moment, Boimler reports to the bridge, still out of phase and leaving the others squinting and wincing from the light and sound. He tries to play it off that "it's no biggie" but Mariner disagrees; to his disappointment, Ramsey orders him to report to sickbay.
In sickbay, Dr. T'Ana looks Boimler over. She takes numerous samples from him, and when he asks how long the effect will last, she tells him that she doesn't know. Rutherford runs into sickbay, and says he knows what to do. He runs his tricorder over Boimler, and the loud transport sound stops, but the phasing effect remains, much to Boimler's disappointment. Boimler gets upset that this will affect his chances of becoming a captain one day, but T'Ana reassures him that she's contacted Division 14, a medical branch in Starfleet that handles unsolvable diseases and science mysteries. T'Ana notes how they have a great medical spa on Endicronimas V known as The Farm, where Boimler will be given the best care possible. T'Ana also notes that Tendi's dog, now simply named "The Dog", will also be going to The Farm. Tendi promises The Dog that she won't let them hurt her. Rutherford can't help noticing that Tendi seems to know more about DNA than she does dogs, and Tendi confirms this saying that there are no dogs native to Orion.
- "Visiting captain's log, stardate 57752.6. The Cerritos is en route to the planet Khwopa to perform a repair of their water filtration system. Once completed, we will rendezvous with the USS Rubidoux. End log."
As Ramsey records her log in the ready room, Mariner is goofing around with her mother's trinkets, making Ramsey laugh. The two catch up, and Ramsey says that she'd like Mariner to be her first officer as a way to get her up to speed with the crew of the Cerritos. Mariner happily accepts the offer, not realizing that Ramsey is actually serious in her offer. As the two make it official, Mariner can't help but feel excited, yet discomforted at the same time.
The Cerritos is approached by the Osler, a ship operated by Division 14. It docks with the Cerritos, and at the airlock, Boimler, Tendi, and The Dog meet an Edosian medical specialist, who warns them that stepping aboard the Osler will make them consent to being in the presence of some of the most abnormal medical and clinically obscene phenomena known to exist. Boimler asks how long it will take to get to The Farm, and the Edosian simply replies for him not to concern himself with that, saying that "The Farm cures all," before giving a seemingly sinister laugh as they board the ship.
Ramsey, Durga, Warren, Prachett, and Mariner are getting ready for their away mission down to Khwopa, and Ramsey is telling a story about her encounter with four Borg drones, and how Durga saved them all by taking out the drones with Vulcan martial arts. Mariner then speaks about a time when she and Ramsey stole Professor Saul Rubichik's special car, and drove it into the bay. Warren is dismayed by this story, noting that she was quite fond of Rubichik, having spoken at his funeral, and that he loved his car. Ramsey simply assures her that it was a long time ago, but Mariner says that she still does similar mischief all the time, citing that a week ago, she put a scorpion in Jack Ransom's bed, and that he almost died from the resulting sting. Durga simply asks her if she often disrupts missions, and Mariner says that she does "regular Starfleet stuff, too," and Ramsey starts off their mission.
On the surface of Khwopa, Ramsey says that since first contact was slightly tricky with the natives due to the bogs, and suggests they get in touch with the local authorities. Mariner rushes off before Prachett tells her she's going the wrong way, much to Mariner's embarrassment. They find the amphibious locals, and Ramsey assures their king, Phibeas, that once they finish repairing the filtration system, their water will be crystal clear. Phibeas thanks them, and his entourage dives back into the water. As the team works, Mariner tries to make small talk with Durga, who simply brushes her off, citing it not being important to the mission at hand. As they talk, the filtration system suffers a surge in pressure. Warren warns that one of the cascade valves is likely jammed open, and that in less than thirty seconds the system will blow open. Durga urgently asks Mariner for their tricorders, but Mariner nervously says that she believes she forgot them in the transporter room on the Cerritos. As the filtration system begins to leak more water, Ramsey gives Warren a device that emits a subsonic pulse, and Warren is successful in clearing the jam. The filtration system immediately begins purifying the water. All the officers except for Mariner have been doused with spraying water and don't look particularly happy about it. Mariner seems flustered that she forgot their tricorders, and Durga scolds her for the mistake.
Back on board the Cerritos, Captain Freeman contacts the ship to check in with Ramsey. Ramsey assures her that the members of the crew have all performed admirably, that they successfully repaired the filtration system on Khwopa and are awaiting the arrival of the USS Rubidoux. Freeman is happy with the report, and excuses herself, noting that the rulot seeds are incredibly volatile, and that she may need to plant them at a moment's notice. Ramsey wishes her well, before ending the transmission and finding their mission slightly amusing. Durga expresses concern that the Rubidoux should have already arrived, and Ramsey notes that Captain Dayton is not known for being punctual. She orders a long range sensor scan, with Mariner not realizing the command was directed at her. Mariner presses the wrong button on her chair, accidentally initiating a red alert. Durga begins to question Mariner's abilities as a Starfleet officer, but Ramsey calms Mariner down, expressing faith in her.
On the Osler, Boimler, Tendi, and The Dog enter a large room full of Starfleet officers, all who have been the victim of a strange accident. The atmosphere of the ship is dark, and seemingly hostile, and Boimler is surprised at the sheer number of accidents that seem to happen on the job. An ensign suffering from equally distributed accelerated growth and reverse aging tells him that the reason Division 14 exists is so that Starfleet can hide these accidents without having to deal with them. Tendi expresses skepticism at the claim, but the ensign tells her that the admirals of Starfleet don't want the loyalty of their officers jeopardized by having them work alongside people who have suffered such bizarre accidents. He accuses Starfleet of preferring to avert their gaze rather than find a cure, saying that they are just an inconvenience. Boimler asks about the specialists who work with such cures, but the ensign starts pointing to various officers with different handicaps and accidents. Tendi promises The Dog that they will break out the first chance they get, since she doesn't believe The Dog belongs with the others. Boimler says that they're exaggerating everything, reminding them that The Farm is essentially a resort planet with nurses who will know how to cure them. The ensign just laughs at his optimism, saying that they've been on board for months, and that the Osler itself is The Farm.
The Cerritos exits warp, finding the Rubidoux adrift. The ship's power is offline, and Ramsey notes that she told Dayton to get the energy coils replaced a month prior. She predicts that the crew is probably holed up in a safe room, waiting for rescue.
Ramsey, Mariner, Warren, Durga, and Prachett beam to the Rubidoux in environmental suits. Durga notes that power to the ship was interrupted in engineering. Ramsey instructs Durga to restore power to the main systems, and that she and Mariner will try and locate the crew. With artificial gravity offline, they magnetize their boots to the floor, but Mariner presses another wrong button, causing her boots to clumsily walk along the floor, bumping into everyone. Mariner tries to play it off as a simple accident, but Ramsey appears to be fed up with Mariner's constant mistakes. Mariner tries to blame the mistake on the boots, but Ramsey just tells her to step it up.
On the Osler, Tendi takes The Dog out for a walk, and once she leaves, the ensign suffering from accelerated growth and reverse aging calls a meeting of everyone in the room. He notes that at 0200 hours, there will be a shift change, giving them an opportunity to stage a mutiny and take over the Osler. They will then find their own hospitable planet to live on. Boimler seems uncomfortable with this, but joins in with their chant and determination to take the ship.
Later, however, Boimler reports the planned mutiny to the Edosian specialist. Boimler suggests a meeting with everyone where more information can be shared, but the specialist lets out an enraged howl before destroying his desk. He grabs a phaser rifle and says that they are in for a "rude awakening". Boimler is horrified by this, and says that the only reason he told him was so that no one can get hurt, but the specialist ignores him. Boimler begs him not to let them know he told about the plan.
On the Rubidoux, Ramsey and Mariner continue to look for the crew. She notes that the mission is boring her, and Ramsey notes that Mariner used to love mysteries like this. Ramsey then scolds her for her performance, noting that she remembered how resourceful Mariner was back in the day, and that she seems to have lost her talent. Mariner simply replies that Ramsey hasn't been much of the friend she remembered from the Academy, before they come upon a set of doors that have been manually sealed. They get the doors open, and find the crew, cowering behind cargo. Captain Dayton panics as they enter, but Mariner tries to reassure her that everything will be okay. Dayton simply replies that the "thing is still out there." Mariner seems confused by the claim, saying that the only thing outside is the Cerritos, but Dayton says that they are inside it.
On the Osler the mutiny is about to start when the Edosian specialist walks in and angrily calls them traitors. He tells them that Boimler told him about their plan, and confines them all to their quarters, telling them to be more like Boimler. He leaves, and the officers angrily surround a very frightened Boimler.
Meanwhile, back on the Rubidoux, Dayton informs Ramsey and Mariner that they shut down power to the Rubidoux because the entity attacking them feeds on electricity. Ramsey desperately tries to contact Durga to stop her from restoring power to the ship, but her transmission is garbled. Durga restores the artificial gravity and the systems start to come online. As soon as power is restored, the floor begins to buckle in engineering, and a huge entity begins to tear apart the ship's bulkheads.
As the entity begins to tear apart the Rubidoux, Mariner takes charge and begins to usher the crew to safety. Ramsey tries to contact the Cerritos to prepare for an emergency transport, but just like when she tried to warn Durga, she cannot get through as the entity seems to be blocking any signal they try to send out. Dayton loses control of herself and begins panicking, and Mariner knocks her out and tells the crew to pick her up and make for the bridge, which is where they beamed in, saying that they might be able to get a signal out from there. Ramsey seems dumbfounded at Mariner's sudden competence. Mariner ignores her, but Ramsey notes that she can definitely tell that Mariner is acting off, saying that she's been screwing up all day except for here. Mariner asks if they can talk about this after their current situation is resolved, but Ramsey realizes that Mariner has been deliberately screwing up to sabotage her efforts of getting a command position aboard the Oakland. Mariner simply tells her that she didn't want to be tricked into a position she didn't want. Ramsey notes that back at the Academy, everyone in their class thought that Mariner would be the first to make captain, noting her good grades, that her behavior kept everyone on track, and that her current behavior reflects someone who doesn't even like Starfleet. Mariner says that Ramsey used to do whatever she wanted, when she wanted, but is now limited by what she can do as a captain. Ramsey replies that she loves leading a team who trust her. Mariner retorts that for herself, she doesn't like everyone telling her to rank up and take charge, saying that she's perfectly happy being a really good ensign. Ramsey compromises, saying she'll stop trying to recruit Mariner if Mariner stops her deliberate sabotaging behavior, and that they work together to save the crew. Mariner agrees.
On the Osler, Boimler is running from the mob of officers and finds himself trapped in an airlock. The ensign suffering from accelerated growth and reverse aging shuts the door, preparing to jettison Boimler into space. Boimler begs for mercy, noting that he's just like them, when his phasing suddenly wears off. Boimler is happy to be back to normal, and the ensign congratulates him before pushing the button to eject Boimler. Boimler is terrified and braces himself for the worst, but instead of being blown into a vacuum, he rolls out of the ship onto a green pasture. Getting up, Boimler sees a resort in the distance, and realizes that they've arrived at The Farm.
The officers all walk out and marvel at the sight, and are joined by the Edosian specialist. He notes that while the missions to retrieve officers who suffer the bizarre accidents are incredibly long, it is always worth the wait to see the reactions of each officer when they finally reach The Farm for their rehabilitation. The ensign who plotted the mutiny is ashamed of his actions, and apologizes to the specialist, but the specialist notes that his own reaction to hearing about their mutiny was uncalled for as well, saying that they should have just talked everything out. He says that next time, he will avoid any possible mutiny before it happens, saying that perhaps he can make the ship not seem as ominous by painting some friendlier colors on the hull and turning on a few lights so it isn't so dark inside. He then wishes everyone a successful recovery, before letting out another seemingly sinister laugh. Everyone seems taken aback by it, but he simply tells them that is his normal laugh.
The Farm lives up to its reputation as the officers enjoy relaxation and treatments by the on-site nurses. Tendi walks The Dog to a pier and realizes that this is where they have to say goodbye. Tendi tearfully says how she never wanted to leave her, and that she never saw The Dog as a freak. She promises that she won't stop trying to bring her back home, when The Dog gets up on her hind legs and verbally tells Tendi that she was an exemplary creator. She reassures Tendi that she actually likes it on The Farm, noting that there's a lot more space to run than on the Cerritos and more things to urinate on. Tendi is happy that The Dog is happy, and says goodbye once more, and The Dog begins to fly away, bidding her farewell. Boimler walks over, and asks Tendi if she knew that The Dog could walk and talk. Tendi says that she of course knew, since she was a dog. Boimler tells her that normal dogs don't do any of those things, which surprises Tendi. She asks if normal dogs hover and spit lightning, and Boimler says they don't. Tendi then realizes that her dog is a freak, and she shouts this out to The Dog. The Dog only replies that she knew all along that she was a freak, and didn't want to give Tendi a reason to worry. Tendi once more calls The Dog such a good girl, when Boimler is approached by two nurses who are attracted to him. However, the ensign suffering from accelerated growth and reverse-aging points out that Boimler's abnormality is already cured and that he shouldn't be at The Farm any more. Boimler tries to suggest that he has acid reflux, but he's tossed into a shuttlecraft, and he and Tendi begin to make their way back to the Cerritos.
Back on the Rubidoux, Mariner and Ramsey continue to guide the crew to the bridge, working very well together. Entering the bridge, Durga reports on an alien entity inside the ship, which Ramsey finds unnecessary to say. Mariner assures the crew that they will all make it out as the entity begins to tear the bridge apart. Ramsey orders Warren to beam them back to the Cerritos, but Warren replies that there are too many people on the bridge, and that there's not enough time to beam them all out. Mariner contacts Rutherford and tells him to get his transporter experiment online. Rutherford warns her that he was unable to fix the problem that Boimler had when he used it, but Mariner simply yells at him to "Boim" them out of there.
Rutherford runs as fast as he can from engineering to the nearest transporter room as the entity begins grabbing various members of the crew and tearing the ship apart even more. The hull stress shatters the viewscreen, resulting in a massive hull breach, threatening to blow the crew into space. However, Rutherford quickly reconfigures the transporter to duplicate his experiment, gets it online, and successfully beams everyone off of the bridge at the same time just before it's crushed flat, albeit out of phase as Boimler was. No one seems to mind as they all cheer, happy to be safe. Ramsey asks why they're still out of phase, but Rutherford assures them that it's only cosmetic, as the entity finally consumes the Rubidoux.
- "Captain's log. The evacuation of the USS Rubidoux was a success, thanks to the quick thinking of the Cerritos crew. While the exact classification of this space entity eludes us, we believe it to be peaceful, in search of a home."
Boimler and Tendi enter the lounge and Boimler rushes over to Rutherford, who is shocked to see him cured. Boimler, however, just begs him to give him another abnormality which might last him roughly two weeks. Rutherford says that he has been experimenting with some ancient plasma which might work. Tendi meanwhile comes face to face with a crewmember's real dog and introduces herself. The dog happily licks her face, which disgusts Tendi, and makes her think that dogs are weird.
Ramsey and Mariner gaze outside at the entity, and Ramsey notes how these kinds of discoveries are what make Starfleet such a great career. Mariner agrees with this. Ramsey says that her offer for Mariner to join her as her first officer still stands, but while Mariner admits that she appreciates the offer, and that it's very tempting to be her first officer, she still has things she wants to figure out for herself as an ensign. Ramsey understands, and says that she knows Mariner will be successful in her endeavors. At that moment, Commander Ransom approaches them and flirts with Ramsey, offering to buy her a drink and putting his hand on her shoulder. Ramsey grabs Ransom by the wrist and flips him onto a table which breaks it, before apologizing for her "instinctual" reaction. She politely declines his offer and walks off laughing with Mariner, while Ransom nervously laughs that Ramsey is just kidding around.
- "First officer's log. An elite team from the Cerritos has been selected by Admiral Syltrack to liaise with the Pisepian agricultural colony in disputed territory. Captain Freeman, Shaxs, and myself have been enlisted to join the mission due to our expertise in the germination of rulot seeds. In our absence, the Cerritos will receive a temporary transfer of command to a visiting captain."
- "Visiting captain's log, stardate 57752.6. The Cerritos is en route to the planet Khwopa to perform a repair of their water filtration system. Once completed, we will rendezvous with the USS Rubidoux. End log."
- "Captain's log: The evacuation of the USS Rubidoux was a success thanks to the quick thinking of the Cerritos crew. While the exact classification of this space entity eludes us, we believe it to be peaceful in search of a home."
"Wake me up if it turns into something I need to care about."
- - Beckett Mariner, about The Dog, as it starts shifting forms
"Anyway, I'm into it. We get to rub shoulders with the visiting crew, maybe impress another captain."
"Oh, you're just excited to kiss a whole new butt, aren't you?"
"Well, I wouldn't put it like that, but yes. Very."
- - Boimler and Mariner
"Dude, what is wrong with you?"
"Nothing. I'm just phasing. No biggie."
"Disagree. Kind of a biggie."
- - Mariner and Boimler
"How long is this gonna last?"
"How am I supposed to know?! You look like a goddamn science project!"
- - Boimler and T'Ana
"Nobody wants a sparkly captain!"
"Oh, alright, alright, calm down. I already alerted Division 14."
"The time travel police?!"
"No! D-14 handles unsolvable space illnesses and science mysteries."
"And they can make me a real boy again?"
- - Boimler and T'Ana
"Have you seen Ransom's photon torpedo?"
"Barf! No! Disgusting! No, for real, that is big barf!"
- - Amina Ramsey and Mariner
"Do not trouble yourself with the journey. The Farm cures all."
- - Division 14 medical specialist
"If those freaks think they can mutiny, they're in for a rude awakening!"
"No, no, no! The only reason I told you is so nobody gets hurt! We're all Starfleet. We have to follow the rules!"
"I am the rules!"
- - Division 14 medical specialist and Boimler
"Rutherford, we need your transporter thing up and running! Now!"
"It made Boimler weird!"
"BOIM US OUT OF HERE!"
- - Mariner and Sam Rutherford
- This episode is the twelfth episode or film to feature the name of a character played by a member of the series' regular cast in its title, in this case, the name of Brad Boimler. Previous regular characters with episode titles include: Spock (TOS: "Spock's Brain"; Star Trek III: The Search for Spock); Data (TNG: "Datalore", "Elementary, Dear Data", "Data's Day", "A Fistful of Datas"); Deanna Troi (TNG: "Ménage à Troi"); Jadzia Dax (DS9: "Dax"); Quark (DS9: "The House of Quark"); and Julian Bashir (DS9: "Our Man Bashir", "Doctor Bashir, I Presume").
- Although Shaxs has no lines in this episode, Fred Tatasciore voices the Edosian Division 14 officer.
- The lifeform that grew out of USS Rubidoux was very similar to the space vessel lifeform first introduced in TNG: "Encounter at Farpoint". The main differences were more tentacles and lack of shell around its body. It was not known if it was meant to be the same species.
- The Division 14 Medical Specialist was the first appearance of an Edosian since TAS: "The Counter-Clock Incident".
- In describing the in-universe character's familiarity with the events of other Star Trek series, Mike McMahan suggested the ensign with accelerated growth/reverse aging's line saying he is "half a Rascal," was a reference to the events of TNG: "Rascals", wherein several characters were turned into children. 
Links and references
- Tawny Newsome as Beckett Mariner
- Jack Quaid as Brad Boimler
- Noël Wells as D'Vana Tendi
- Eugene Cordero as Sam Rutherford
- Dawnn Lewis as Carol Freeman
- Jerry O'Connell as Jack Ransom
- Fred Tatasciore as Edosian Division 14 officer
- Gillian Vigman as
- Toks Olagundoye as Amina Ramsey
- Nolan North as Human command ensign with accelerated growth and reverse aging
- Jennifer Hale as
- Vanessa Marshall as Ottessa Warren
- Maurice LaMarche as
- Unknown performers as
- Jennifer Sh'reyan
- The Farm personnel
- Human sci ens 3
- Osler officers
- Osler passengers
- Rubidoux children
- Rubidoux officers
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- "Much Ado About Boimler" at Memory Beta, the wiki for licensed Star Trek works
- "Much Ado About Boimler" at MissionLogPodcast.com, a Roddenberry Star Trek podcast
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