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Tendi races to stop a conflict while Boimler and Mariner race to stop capitalists.

Summary[]

Teaser[]

At an unknown location, D'Vana Tendi and D'Erika Tendi sneak into a blue Orion building. They sneak past a few guards when one gets the drop on them. Before he's able to shoot them, a wing-slug roll drops on top of him, revealing the entire thing to be a hologram. The real Tendi is surprised by it, but D'Erika brushes it off as it was an accident. Tendi wants to run the simulation again before D'Erika teases her for acting like an Orion General. Tendi complains it's because she's eating all the wing-slug rolls, which D'Erika denies, throwing a roll and sparking a play fight between the sisters. Shona Tendi peeks in the door, telling them its time to sleep, leading to the two sisters to beg for a few more minutes. As she leaves, D'Erika goes to stand, gets dizzy and falls back over. Though she claims its just heartburn, Tendi goes to use a tricorder to scan her just in case, which D'Erika slaps away in annoyance. She walks off, telling Tendi to drop the entire thing, prompting Tendi to figure something's off...

Act One[]

"Captain's Log, Stardate 59376.9. The Cerritos has arrived at Targalus IX, a recent addition to the Federation, to help dismantle their capitalist system of wealth. Having just acquired post-scarcity technology, the Targalans are removing their obsolete financial structures to make room for museums and meditation gardens. Most Targalans have embraced their new way of life, as evidenced by the planet-wide celebration."

As the people of Targalus IX celebrate their newfound freedom from money and scarcity, Brad Boimler and a group of ensigns are dealing with the removal of the now-obsolete riches. As he helps one ensign, Mackler lift up a crate, he gives a "Boimler's Bointer": "Lift with your legs and your spine will be fine". The ensign isn't keen on it. Taking a peek at the PADD he stole from his alternate self, Boimler quickly puts it away as Beckett Mariner returns to his side, having completed converting the Stock Exchange building into an animal hospital, which she mentions smells a lot better now and the briefcases are now litter boxes. However, she tells Boimler to not move as she spots the strange beginnings of a mustache forming on Boimler's face. Boimler's not amused and gives another "Bointer": "Always research flora and fauna on a new planet. You never know what might be trying to kill you." Once more, the ensign, along with a fellow Tellarite ensign, Gorm, are not amused and mock Boimler. Mariner teases Boimler, asking where he started to do such a thing. He lies that he saw it somewhere and he should give it a try. Mariner suggests letting the ensigns take some down time instead and be a fun boss. Boimler takes it into consideration and tells the ensigns to take an hour off. Mariner is surprised he took it and runs off to join him.

On Orion, Tendi sneaks into D'Erika's room and looks over a personal log of hers. Which she's touched about how happy she is that she's back home, Tendi is shocked to learn D'Erika is pregnant. In her joy, she realizes someone's coming and tries to escape, only for D'Erika to appear, asking with amusement as to why she's in her room. She lies, claiming she's looking for a knife, though D'Erika points out they have knives all over the place. D'Erika tells her that they've been summoned by Sabor, the Orion Queen as they aren't happy over the war. Tendi tries to goad her over the pregnancy, but she doesn't say anything. As she leaves, she teases Tendi that being in dark rooms makes her look like a creep.

Over Targalus IX, Sam Rutherford is trying to fix a door on the Cerritos when T'Lyn appears, startling him. T'Lyn is in need of a partner for her senior science officer training and asks if he can show her own to repair the shuttle, but Rutherford is busy - his implant isn't working with the door, so he's trying to get it fixed. She doesn't mind and decides to wait, confusing poor Rutherford.

Back on Orion, House Tendi and House Azure are before the Pirate Queen. She admonishes them over the fact that them plundering each other means that no new booty is flowing and they're barely able to feed their blazzards. K'Levin accuses them of using "un-ORE-EON" tactics with D'Erika shouting back that it was "bull *bleep*" and to pronounce their race as "Oh-RYAN" before the Pirate Queen silences them. She orders them to solve this via a sail ship race through the Excellon Nebula, the losing house giving all their wealth to the winner. Despite the threat, D'Erika is ready to kick butt, but Tendi, fearing for the unborn child's safety tries to persuade her to let her handle it, but D'Erika brushes her off, saying she suffers assassination attempts during brunch.

Act Two[]

On Targalus IX, Boimler and Mariner are in full spirits over the party and their interesting change in roles, with Mariner declaring she'll be the "responsible boss" to Boimler's "fun boss". When they get back to their shuttles, though, the ensigns are not there. Boimler begins to panic and tries to contact them. Commander Jack Ransom contacts Mariner to find out how things are, but Boimler panics and tells him everything's fine despite Mariner trying to tell him the problem. Mariner decides to let Boimler handle things but warns him that she decided to be responsible and he chose chaos. In response, he gives another "Bointer": "I always set a rendezvous point in case we get separated" and quickly heads for the Museum of Friendship, Mariner running after him.

Near the Excellon Nebula, D'Erika is ordering her crew to get everything prepared while Tendi tries to make her comfortable, offering her fuzzy socks. The Orion Queen declares that the countdown has begun and that may the best Orion win, which K'Levin declares it will be he. With the signal to go, both ships unfurl their sails and race off. When struck by some turbulance, Tendi tries to get D'Erika to sit down, but she brushes her off and climbs a rope, much to her worry.

On the Cerritos Rutherford has finished his repairs and is quite proud of himself when he hears welding. T'Lyn is on top of their shuttlecraft, Sequoia, repairing it. Rutherford tells her that the shuttlecraft can't just be easily repaired and asks to take over, but when T'Lyn suddenly leaves, he sighs in defeat. On Targalus IX, Boimler and Mariner's hunt for the ensigns lead them to discover them being kidnapped. When Mariner finally contacts Ransom, he tells them that some of the elite have turned to terrorism due to losing their wealth. When Boimler asks for backup, Ransom says they can't as everyone is on the field, then questions why Boimler isn't talking on his communicator, causing the poor lieutenant to blush in embarrassment. Mariner tells Boimler he wanted to be the fun boss and it's time to take it. He hops on a hover craft, telling a Targalan that he's borrowing it for "post-scarcity business", which she doesn't mind at all. However, Mariner points out he's riding it backwards, causing him to curse and sit forward, Mariner joining him as they race off.

In the Excellon Nebula, D'Erika and her crew expertly sail around an asteroid when Tendi suggests a break for Pyrithian bat milk, which D'Erika brushes off. When the blue Orions start attacking their ship, D'Erika forces her to take the helm as she's going to attack back. In a panic, Tendi approaches the crew, trying to urge them to stop her from fighting. When they refuses, Tendi asserts her position as Mistress. When asks if they were going to mutiny, Tendi says it's a gentle, persuasive mutiny, a "cute-iny". When they try to relieve her of duty, D'Erika attacks, pinning Tendi to the ground and accusing her of working with the blue Orions, only for her to be pulled away and shackled, Tendi taking control.

On Targalus IX, Mariner and Boimler arrive at a mansion where the ensigns have been taken to. Entering the mansion, they see the clean-up robots have been repurposed as makeshift guards, which Mariner easily distracts by breaking a vase. As they run in, Mariner gloats that this is the easiest rescue mission ever before another guard appears, telling them to surrender or they will prune them. Mariner asks Boimler if he has a "Bointer" for this; he does, but he's not gonna say it. In the Nebula, the Tendis' sail is struck with a grappling line, allowing D'Erika to escape her bonds and get to a space helmet. Tendi tries to stop her, but D'Erika is unfazed; Tendi doesn't know what she's doing and she does. However, Tendi reveals that she knows she's pregnant and she read her private logs, giving the Blues time to damage the ship's sprit, causing it to crash.

Act Three[]

On Targalus IX, the gardener bot is suffering as its two sets of commands are so confusing, which Boimler sarcastically says makes him feel better. As they are brought to their cells, Mariner apologizes that she got them into this mess; they weren't hanging all the time in favor of being a better leader and she wanted Boimler to be the fun boss so she could be herself. Boimler brushes it off, stating that they could have done everything right and still get the away team kidnapped, which impresses Mariner. Brough to their cells, they find the ensigns dead, which freaks out the two and the guard.

In the nebula, the Tendis' sail ship is dead and the blue Orions are heading back with the treasure. Tendi apologizes for everything but tries to justify things in that D'Erika shouldn't of been fighting while pregnant. D'Erika tells her that their mom fought dozens of battles while carrying her and Kita was born mid-sword fight. Tendi claims that D'Erika lied to everyone, only for D'Erika to reveal she only lied to her; D'Erika's child will be the new Mistress of the Winter Constellations, but Tendi would be forced to train her for the next fourteen years – D'Erika didn't want Tendi to be away from her friends and Starfleet for that long. In the distance, Tendi spots a comet passing through, a plan forming. Using a solar sail towing line, Tendi is able to tether their ship to the comet's tail and pull them out of the asteroid and back into the race.

On the Cerritos, Rutherford is returning to the shuttle bay with Andy Billups, who is burnt and singed thanks to a dragon gifted to him by his mom, the former unsure what he'd do if his mom gifted him one. Leaving poor Billups to his pain, Rutherford enters the bay and finds out that T'Lyn has fully repaired the SequoiaVulcans do not require as much sleep as Humans, so she's worked on this. Rutherford is upset, which confuses T'Lyn until he explains: he wanted to slow-roll its repairs because it was something he and Tendi worked on every day and now she'll be upset when she gets back. T'Lyn reveals that she wanted to spend time with Rutherford, that he noticed his lack of purpose without Tendi. Though he's appreciative of her attempt at friendship, he's dejected that he might not have something to do should she return.

On Targalus IX, Mariner and Boimler try desperately to revive the ensigns, but nothing's working. When the Targalans who kidnap them arrive, they are in a panic – they didn't want to murder people, they just didn't want to lose their capitalist system that gave them power. With the prospect of going to jail over their heads, they decide to live off-grid. As Mariner tries to reach for their combadge, the ensigns awaken suddenly. When asked what the Targalans did to them, Gorm tells Mariner and Boimler that they did nothing: he and Mackler remembered Bointer #16 and discovered a tie-dyed coma beetle, which allowed them to fake being dead. Relieved, the guard robot opens the door and vows never to take the path of violence. Getting their badges back, Boimler decides to request for medical, which upsets the ensigns.

In the nebula, the Tendis and their crew catches up to the blue Orions' sail ship, rattling their ship due to the speed. Once caught up, they quickly board the ship and fight their rivals, Tendi grabbing the treasure. She heads outside, tosses the treasure out and shoots it, destroying it. K'Levin is furious; now none of them will win. Tendi proclaims that now it's a tie and the Orion Queen will be happy they compromised. On Orion, she's anything but. She declares everyone losers and everyone's wealth will be taken. Tendi protests this, but she's told next time act like a pirate, not Starfleet. However, despite this, her parents aren't too worried as it means they can spend time with family and not worrying about assassination attempts. D'Erika decides that it's time for Tendi to return to Starfleet and do what she wants to do, to give her daughter an even greater example of what she can do. Tendi vows to visit all the time, D'Erika hoping to give her some swashbuckling tips.

On the Cerritos, Rutherford is back to fixing another door when Tendi suddenly shows up, the two embracing happily. When Tendi expresses excitement on working on their shuttle, Rutherford tries to stop her, only to see that T'Lyn has violently dismantled the shuttle, Goodgey helping out. Rutherford is in a panic at what she did, but Tendi realizes that they can rebuild it together, which Rutherford happily accepts. Boimler and Mariner appear and happily reunite with their Orion friend. Boimler wants to bring their reunion to the bar, wanting to relax after dealing with treasure trash and robber barons. However, Tendi has an idea after hearing about the trash. Soon, D'Erika's ship rendezvous with the Cerritos, D'Erika happy to take the Targalus IX's former wealth. Captain Carol Freeman states that it was Tendi's idea and she was happy to improve relations with Orion. Besides, it was going to go to the matter recombiner anyway. Tendi's glad to make up for their fumble and D'Erika bids her sister farewell, calling in the former House Azure members to take the treasure back to their ship.

Log entries[]

Memorable quotes[]

"This war was instigated by House Tendi. They used un-ORE-EON tactics to steal our frigate."
"Bull(bleep). You tried to steal it from us first. And it's pronounced, "O-RYAN!"

- K'Levin and D'erika


"Whoa, what the heck happened here?"
"T'Lyn! What did you do? You destroyed the entire shuttle."
"Oh, no. Whatever shall we do?"
"Hey, now we can rebuild the whole thing together."
"Aw. You destroyed the shuttle."

- Tendi, Rutherford, and T'Lyn, talking about the destruction of the shuttlecraft Sequoia

Background information[]

Title[]

Story and script[]

Preproduction[]

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Postproduction[]

Cast and characters[]

Sets and props[]

Costumes[]

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Special effects[]

Continuity[]

Apocrypha[]

Reception[]

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Links and references[]

Starring[]

Guest cast[]

Characters with unidentified voice actors
  • Kita
  • Blue Orion 2
  • Targalan female robber baron
  • Targalan hover-cruiser operator 1
  • Targalan male robber baron

Uncredited guest cast[]

Background characters[]

USS Cerritos
Orion
Orion holographic simulation
Targalus IX
  • Meditating Targalans
  • Targalan celebrants
  • Targalan hover-cruiser operator 2
  • Targalan museum director
  • Targalan robot 2
  • Wealthy Targalan in hovercar

References[]

'tons; alien (space aliens); animal hospital; arrest; assassination; assumption; aunt (aka "auntie"); away team; baby; ball; bar; battle; Battle of Thirat; beers; Billups' pet dragon; black mountain; blazzard; Blue Orion; blushing; "Boims"; booty; born; boss; boys; "brace for impact"; briefcases; bug; buffer time; bull *bleep*; California-class; capitalism; captain (rank); captain (title; aka "cap"); captain's log; car chase; Cerritos, USS; chronitons; clinically dead; combadge; comet; commandeering; commander (rank); commander (title); continent; conversation; countdown; crane; crap; currency (aka money); Currency Disposal and Recycling Center; cybernetic implant; D'Erika's daughter; dad; dagger; directed energy weapon; disruptor (disruptor rifle); doctor; door; double broadside protocol; dragon (Hysperian dragon); elitist; emergency medical transport; ensign; environmental suit; Excellon Nebula; face; fauna; Federation; feet; finish line; fire; flora; friends; *bleep* ing; *bleep* s; full body armor; gardener; girl; goddamn; gold; gravitons; Green Orion; guard; heartburn; helmet; high school; holding cell; hologram; hour; House Azure; House Azure sailship; House Tendi (aka House of Tendi); House Tendi sailship; hover-cruiser; hover-van; hovercar; idiot; inertial dampeners; jewel; kidnapping; kneepads; lady; lieutenant commander; lieutenant junior grade; litter boxes; lying; ma'am; matter recombinator; meditation garden; milk; minutes; mistress; Mistress of the Winter Constellations; mom; mouth; mud; museum; Museum of Friendship; mustache; mutiny (cute-iny); nebula; officer; "okey-dokey"; optimism; Orion (aka "Oreon"); Orion (planet); Orion language; Orion Syndicate; Orion Syndicate meeting hall; Orion uniform; Orion vessel; Orion wing-slug; PADD; Paolana; pearls; personal log; pillaging; pirate; Pirate Queen; pirate war; plan; pointer (Bointer); post-scarcity; power cells; pregnancy; prime daughter; prison; purpose; Pyrithian bat; rendezvous; replication; replication station; relieved of duty; replicator; rescue mission; rigging; robot; room; Rutherford's mother; sandwich; sarium krellide; senior science officer training; Sequoia; *bleep*; shuttle; sister (aka "sis"); snake; socks; solar sail; solar sailing; space race; spit; sprit; stardate; Starfleet; Starfleet uniform; stock exchange; strategy; string; study buddy; surprise; sword; Targalan; Targalus IX; Tellarite; terrorist; thing; tie; tie-dyed coma beetle; title; trash; treasure; tricorder (medical tricorder); turbulence; Type 6A shuttlecraft (unnamed); urgency; varsity; vector control system; violence; Vulcan; wealth; wealth disposal service; weapon; welding mask; wing-slug roll; work; years

Meta references[]

bleep

External link[]

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