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The Odd Couple
Series: DS9
Season: 5
Original Airdate: 1996-11-25
Production Number: 507
Year: 2373
Stardate: Unknown
Story by: Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe
Directed by: Allan Kroeker

Trapped on an inhospitable world, Quark and Odo must work together to survive.

Summary

There's a feeling of anticipation in Sisko's quarters as Jake makes final preparations for the move to his own quarters. Jake will be living with Nog, but Sisko discovers that the boys' quarters will be not next door but on the other side of the habitat ring. The old man reminisces, but Jake is all too eager to move out on his own.

Meanwhile, Quark enters Rom's quarters to find his brother anxiously awaiting Nog's return. Despite his own disapproval of Nog's attending Starfleet Academy, Quark has brought along several dozen bottles of root beer and is disgusted to see Rom drink one. The door chime rings and Rom grows excited, believing it might be his son, but it is Odo. The usual verbal sparring between Quark and Odo turns serious when Odo announces he has come to arrest Quark once and for all. Whatever has happens, Quark's shady dealings have finally caught up with him.

Alone with Odo aboard a Runabout now, Quark grows increasingly bored and tries to find ways to pass the time. While he is interested by Odo's reading a romance novel, Quark finds the constable unwilling to indulge him in a card game or tell him what has happened. All he knows for sure is that a Federation grand jury has indicted him for something big.

Back aboard Deep Space 9, Nog meets Captain Sisko in his office to take orders. A symbolic moment involving Sisko's baseball, which Nog catches, epitomizes the boy's transition into a model cadet. The captain claims Nog inspires him. However, when Nog and Jake move into their quarters, it is clear things will not be quite the same. Nog seems to have become more disciplined, while Jake has been slacking off on his writing. They are still best friends, but if Nog's 22:00 "lights out" time and 04:30 workout are any indication, the boys will not see eye to eye on everything.

The utter lack of conversation and other stimuli has caused Quark's lobes to notice how annoyingly filled with sound the Runabout is. In particular, he claims that Odo, who is eating soup, smacks his lips when he eats. There is also a strange buzzing sound, although Odo does not hear it. A few seconds pass before Quark determines to find what the sound is, and over Odo's impatience, he finds that it is an explosive. Things go from bad to worse when they try to beam the explosive off the ship, which causes it to explode and nearly destroy the ship. The Runabout limps to a nearby planet, where they have to crash-land because the life support systems have been virtually destroyed. On the way down, Quark mentions the bomb was planted by the Orion Syndicate, to Odo's surprise; it seems the lack of information about the charges against Quark was an attempt by Odo, who also knew nothing, to gain information. Both men lose consciousness during the violent crash.

Quark awakens to find their situation grim; the Class L planet on which they have landed is freezing (although the weather is otherwise hospitable), the communications system and most supplies were destroyed in the crash, and the local plants appear poisonous. They do have a couple of ration packs, but as Odo points out, they now have a choice between starving to death and freezing to death.

On his first morning with Nog, Jake sleepily walks out of his bedroom to find his friend lifting weights. As usual, Jake passes on his own workout. Nog has found one of Jake's PADDs lying around with a story, "Past Prologue," on it, so Jake asks what he thought. However, Nog did not read for "content," but rather grammar and spelling errors. While this is "sacrilege" to Jake as a writer, Nog doesn't seem to care. He claims Jake needs some muscles.

Meanwhile, Quark has found an environmental suit, which he plans to wear ("finders keepers"), and a transciever array, which they can use to send a distress call. As the communications system and signal booster have been destroyed, he uses his Ferengi brain to calculate that they will need to send the signal from somewhere with less atmosphere -- namely, from the top of a nearby mountain. The pair begin their trek out into the wilderness, conversing along the way. It seems Quark believes Odo got what he wanted when his people made him a Solid, and while Odo denies it, in a way he seems to know this is true. On the other hand, were he stil la Changeling, Odo could have flown to the top of the mountain already.

Tension between Jake and Nog continues to mount. Nog comes home to find that, in the process of working on his story, Jake has left a mess in their quarters, and despite his claims of "working", Jake is playing computerized dom-jot to "inspire" him. Nog leaves, declaring he does not know where he is going but that anywhere would be better than with Jake.

We now find that Quark and Odo have been hiking for three days. He and Odo have taken turns wearing the environmental suit, but between the hiking and the lack of beetles, Quark is about to collapse. Forcing his companion to push on, Odo assures him that they only have about more hours to go. His opinion changes considerably when they reach the top of the hill they are climbing and find the mountain to be closer to six days away. They push on, but Quark reveals that he is not a member of the Orion Syndicate, as they do not kill their own. Odo realizes Quark was a witness, not a defendent, in the case. From this he surmises that Quark tried and failed to get into the Syndicate, which amuses him; however, Quark points out that this means Odo has spent ten years trying to catch a nobody.

In the Replimat, Rom joins Sisko for lunch. As they discuss their sons' living together, each expresses his desire that his soon would be more like the other's. Rom reveals that Nog "cited" him for being disorganized and takes out a vial of blood, which he took from Nog to see if his son is a Changeling. In any case, Rom and Sisko agree their sons could learn a lot from each other.

As things become increasingly desperate, Quark realizes that he can no longer hear out of his right ear. His body has begun to shut down due to excessive stress and lack of food. Odo declares his intent to push on, even if Quark is ready to give up, and Quark goes along if only because he does not want to be left alone to die. Their true feelings come out while they continue their journey, and they eventually stop to express their hatred for one another. They trip and fall down a slope in the heat of the moment, breaking Odo's leg in the process.

Forming a crude, makeshift splint for Odo's leg, Quark determines to carry him to the top of the mountain. Although Odo tells Quark not to be an idiot, he claims to be bringing the other man along not to save him but to eat him in case of an emergency. The Ferengi continues to pull Odo, but eventually collapses, exhausted. Odo attempts to pull the transciever himself, inspiring Quark to push on, if for no other reason then to keep Odo from besting him.

Sisko surprises his son with a visit to inform Jake of some bad news: station "regulations" say that a subgle person cannot occupy double quarters, and unfortunately, there are no other quarters available. The solution, of course, is to get Jake a roommate, so Sisko calls Nog in. Over both boys' objections, Sisko makes them stay in the room together and leaves them alone. They both know how foolish they have been and attempt to reconcile, with Jake suggesting they go to the gym but Nog suggesting dom-jot instead.

As Quark collapses amid a snowstorm, Odo has realized the Ferengi did not make it and begun dragging himself upward. Before long he realizes it is an excercise in futility and records a log on his communicator:

"Begin recording. Chief of security.. log... final entry. It looks like Quark didn't make it... Can't say I'm surprised. You'll find his body further up the slope... No doubt he'd want you to vacuum-desecate his remains and auction them off. Not that they're worth much. As for myself... Cremate me, stick my ashes in my bucket, shoot me through the wormhole. Might as well end up where I began. Or better yet..."

Odo is beamed off the surface as he speaks by the Defiant. It seems the ship was looking for Odo and Quark and picked up the signal from the transciever. Worf and Dax inform him that they found Quark slumped over the emitter. The two of them end up in the Defiant's Sickbay alongside one another, where they reassure each other that they meant their words of hatred earlier -- their own way of apologizing and reassuring themselves that they are still friends, or at least adversaries.

Memorable Quotes

"Well, I guess you're not as successful a businessman as you think you are."

"Which means you spent the last ten years of your life trying to catch a nobody--with little success, I might add. So you tell me, which one of us is the bigger failure?"

- Odo, Quark

"We're going to clean every day?"

"No, Jake, just the odd- and even-numbered ones."

- Jake, Nog

"You're nothing but a petty thief!"

"And you're an arrogant prude!"

"Lecher!"

"Freak!"

"Fraud!"

"Fascist!"

"Failure!"

- Odo, Quark

"Don't you get it? I'm not trying to save you. I'm taking you along as emergency rations. If you die, I'm gonna eat you."

"You're joking."

"Waste not, want not."

- Quark, Odo

"Now, I know the two of you are very different people, but you're still friends, and somehow, some way, you'll make this work."

"I don't know..."

"Neither do I."

"Well I do. And I'm you're captain. And your father. And what I say goes. Good day, gentlemen."

- Sisko, Nog, Jake

"If it wasn't for his signal, we never would have found you. Looks like he saved both your lives."

"I was afraid you were going to say that."

- Dax, Odo (on Quark)

Background Information

  • This is the final episode to feature the uniforms originally created for the series. However, they would continued to be used for the duration of Star Trek: Voyager.
  • The explosive planted in Quark and Odo's runabout must not have been very powerful, as Quark was close enough when it exploded that an explosion of any significant force would have blown his face off -- or at least left a scratch.

Links and References

Guest Stars

References

Class L, Federation Grand Jury, fizzbin, Inferna Prime, latinum, Orion Syndicate, root beer, Starbase 137, Vorian pterodactyl, Vulcan Love Slave; USS Defiant (NX-74205), Fizzbin, Holo-programs, Orion (species), Sonic shower, Orange juice, Root beer, Snail juice

Previous episode:
Things Past
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Season 5
Next episode:
Rapture
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