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Please make sure that you use proper grammar on the teaser bits on episodes. Some you've changed to grammatically incorrect statements. There is also no need to go into too much depth on the teasers. Simplify. Tease. Don't storytell. -- sulfur 15:48, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
- Actually, the grammar and the going off on tangents in the teaser is what I am fixing (most of them are really long) and I think I have done a good job. I dont understand why in Endgame, Voyager returning back is written in the past tense. Like "after voyager returNED to the Alpaha Quadrant, Janeway triES to do this and that". – Distantlycharmed 15:57, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
In that case, it is "some time after Voyager returned, Janeway tries." The first part of the sentence is in the past tense, since it occurred in the past. the second part is the "present" of the episode. Another wording for it would be "Some time after Voyager's return, Janeway tries."
Also, "in the meanwhile" is not grammatically correct. That should be either "meanwhile" or "in the meantime". -- sulfur 16:02, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
- Yeah, i know, it sounds awkward :) The Endgame teaser should be changed to what you mentioned above. Right now it just sounds awkward too.– Distantlycharmed 16:08, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
Ship name formats
As an aside, Enterprise's, not Enterprise's. Check the formatting on those by editing the page. Also... TNG and TOS were "the Enterprise", while ENT's was simply "Enterprise". -- sulfur 02:40, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
- What? Archer never says the Enterprise? – Distantlycharmed 04:16, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
He may have, but stylistically, that's the way we roll. :) -- sulfur 04:36, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
I figured I waxed a bit too dramatic, but did not quite know how to pare it down without removing the drama entirely. I firmly believe that readers prefer some life in the summary instead of a flat report. Thanks for the assist. :)– Watching... listening... 22:23, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
- Sure thing. It was fun. cheers :) -- Lili
A few points:
1. I see that you remove dialog I put in, but I was told a long time ago by Sulfur that usinf dialog directly in the summary is acceptable, so long as it is not overdone.
2. What's the difference between Sickbay and THE sickbay?
3. Try not to take out TOO much drama. :) I pulled my punches for Drive; I thought I struck the correct balance there. As I said, this is an encyclopedia, not a novel, so one has to be careful not too wax TOO poetic. But I really believe that for a reader to get ALL the information in the summary, he has to be ENCOURAGED to read the whole thing. Therefore, I think some life IS necessary to hold his/her interest. It's like school; you defiitely pay attention to the work when the teacher is lively rather than if he is stodgy and dull. :)